NQA Song Parody

At NQA we had some fun internally and ran a competition to see who could come up with the best song parody about the business, our services, remote auditing and COVID-19!

They are all written with a bit of fun in mind (not necessarily factually correct!) and a comedy take on how we have all had to adapt and change this year - we thought we would share a few of them with you!

We’ve hyperlinked each song to the YouTube video too.

We would love to know what you think or even better if you have done anything similar…. Please share and tag @NQAGlobal on LinkedIn or Twitter.

Please Read Your Audit Plan

(to the tune of I Want To Hold Your Hand by The Beatles)

Oh yeah, I'll tell you something
I think you'll understand
Then I'll say that something
Please read your Audit Plan
Your audit’s on a ban
Back on-site when I can

Oh please, say to me
You’ll take a remote plan
And please, say to me
You’ve got Teams to hand
You’re on a remote plan
Just ask the NQA clan

And when I Teams you I feel happy
Inside
It's such a feeling that my audit’s
Done with pride
So let’s try
Certify!

Proud NQA

(to the tune of Proud Mary by Tina Turner)
 
Left a good job at Warwick House
Packed up my laptop, my keyboard and my mouse
And I never lost one minute of sleepin’
Coz I’m always sitting in a web based meetin’
 
MD keep on turning
NQA keep on burning,
Coz we’re remote, remote yeah, yeah we’re remote with the audits
 
Cleaned a lot of plates since lockdown
Pumped a lot of sanitiser in my hands
Yes my hair is a mess but we’ll assess your QMS
Gotta keep in touch with good old Teams
 
NQA keep on turning
Book a course and keep on learnin’
Coz we’re remote, remote yeah, yeah we’re remoting with the trainin’

Fresh Prince of NQA

(to the tune of Fresh Prince of Bel Air by Will Smith)

In South West Somerset born not raised
In my Study is where I spend most of my days
Reppin and Quotin for NQA
Getting passed tenders wish’n I had a PA
Then Corona arrived, it was up to no good!
Starting making trouble in every neighbourhood!
We all want out but Boris got scared
He said stay home and protect our awesome NHS!
 
Remote audits now is the way that we sway
The whole industry had to rethink everyday ways
NQA leading the way! Off we go like we’re going to Bel-Air!
Heads down, music on! It’s a crazy time so we might as well kick it!

I Want To Break Free (from coronavirus)

(to the tune of I Want To Break Free by Queen)
 
I want to break free,
I want to break free,
I want to break free from my wife and this cycle of home quarantine…
I’ve got to break free;
God knows, my clients can see me on Teams.
 
I’ve fallen in love,
I’ve fallen in love with home baking, day drinking, audits and crap TV.
I’ve got to buy gloves,
God knows, God knows I’ve got to buy gloves.
 
It’s strange but its true; I cant go outside for 6 weeks coz of flu,
But I have to be sure when I walk out that door;
How I’ve got to stay clean…
God knows I’ll uninstall Teams
 
<<<Guitar Solo>>>

Delilah NQA

(to the tune of Delilah by Tom Jones)
 
At Break of Day last year in May we were driving
This year since Spring we’ve been sitting in Work from Home…
All Hail Remote Audits!
Cos the worlds changing and We must move with the times
 
WHY WHY WHY CORONA ?
WHY WHY WHY CORONA ?
So before you go to walk out the door
now the World’s got Corona remember to wash your hands more…
 
Microsoft Teams, Skype, E-mail and WhatsApp
This is the future; this is now where-ere it’s at
All Hail Remote Audits!
Cos the Worlds changing and We must move with the times
 
WHY WHY WHY CORONA ?
WHY WHY WHY CORONA ?
So before you go and walk out the door
now the world’s got Corona remember to wash your hands more…
 
LATIN FEEL INSTRUMENTAL
All Hail Remote Audits!
N Q A never Sto-op Improving

From a Distance (of at least 2 meters)

(to the tune of My Way by Frank Sinatra)
 
And now, the end is near
And so we face the Closing Meeting
It seems not long ago
We said Hello & made our greetings
We’ve done the Audit Plan
Each process seen, complete & totally
But more, much more than this
I did it remotely
 
NC’s, we’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
We raised them all.
I made the call
And wrote them up without exemption
The clause was clear, for you my dear
I’m afraid it’s not a vote see!
But more, much more than this
I did it remotely
 
Yes, there were times, signal fell out
Sure made you want to scream & shout
But through it all, when there was doubt
I told you that we’d sort it out
We faced it all & had a ball
Auditing remotely
 
The virus came & screwed it all
Diaries were full. We’d have a good go
And now, we’re all locked down
Some of my guys are now in Furlough
Is the end finally in sight?
We’ll have to wait for someone to tell me
Oh no, 3 more weeks
Auditing remotely
 
What is an Assessor? What have we got?
Just the standard, that’s not a lot!
Ask the client how do they feel?
Give them NC’s until they squeal
Let’s have some fun.
Show must go on!
Auditing remotely
 
Yes. We now do it remotely!